The things I think about all day....

During the day I usually think of really random shit. It is usually because I am high, but sometimes I am just plan old, run of the line, FUNNY!!! Here are some examples of funny shit I think about during the day.

-When a sign says "Jesus Saves", I think that someone should write something ridiculous under it. For example "Jesus Saves...Plastic Utensils". Or "Jesus Saves...his money so he can buy a new car some day." IDK, just something really stupid like that.

-I also think about what people on the Real World do with their lives after they whore it up on the show. I can imagine that Beth still lives with her parents and has no real friends. She has a dead end job that pays $15,000 a year and hates her life. Or Trishelle (The super whore from Las Vegas who was probably the biggest whore in reality show history), she probably has limited her options to call girl or stripper. I know I wouldn't even hire her at a fast food place. She probably has herpes. Who is ever gonna take someone who is on a reality show serious when they try to get a real job. NO ONE! that's who.

-Why do fast food places attempt to make healthy stuff like salads. If you really cared about your health you could wait another 15 minutes until you get home and make yourself something healthy. If you don't have to get out of your car to get it, it shouldn't be healthy.

-What would happen if a priest and rabbi really walked into a bar. I would imagine that the music would stop and then everyone would stop what they were doing and attempt to make a joke at their expense and they would say to themselves "What the fuck is this shit. It isn't funny when we drink wine in church, but if we try to drink somewhere else it is a fucking joke. God! I wish we could have sex." (I know that is probably sending me to hell, but if i couldn't have sex or even beat it every now and then, i would flip out over the littlest things.)

-Why do people from different locations of the world look different? I don't get it. Why are people from india tan, while people from africa are black? Why are we white? This makes no fucking sense to me.

-I just learned online how to make my own wine. I just figured i'd let you know. Here is the link http://www.warpbreach.com/6/6.html

-Who was the first schleprock who thought that cutting up and grilling a cow would taste good. Did someone look at a cow and say "That big, fat, sloppy animal covered in its own shit looks fucking delicious!!"

-Why aren't there people who really have special abilities like in that show heroes? Do you think that we have the potential to do all that shit but we just haven't realized it yet. I hope that we figure out a way to do that shit. That'd be fucking awesome. I shotgun the superhero name of "Super LB". Anyone who tries to take it will face my wrath!!

-How much would could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does anyone ask this question if they don't know the answer themselves? That is some bullshit.

-Who invented the necktie. This is a wierd concept to me. Why does someone look nicer and more professional just because of a collared shirt or a necktie. This is also bullshit. I think I look just fine in a t-shirt.

-How does one go about becoming a rapper? Like a really famous one??

-Who made the first beer? And who thought that you could get fucked up on it? Did someone say "Man, I have this barley, water, hops and yeast laying around, what should I do with them? Should I mix them? Maybe I will put them together and let them sit around for a while to see what happens."

-Can someone become a professional ninja? I like to keep my hopes up that maybe someday I will see a story on the news talking about a ninja saving a pregnant lady from being mugged by 10 bodybuilders.

-Do any cows actually wear cowbells? Or are they used strictly for music purposes?

-Why isn't Christopher Walken considered a god?

-I saw a shirt that said "Come to the Dark Side...We have cookies". I know I will sound like a fat kid saying this but, they have way better powers and now they have cookies. Where do I sign up.

-Why does New Jersey suck so much??

-Who thought that Smokey the Bear is a good mascot for fire safety? Is he supposed to scare us out of the woods before we are able to start forest fires. And that motto "Only you can prevent forest fires" is bullshit. Forest fires can start naturally by things such as lightning. I cannot prevent lightning from striking. Fuck you Smokey!!!

-When people are fleeing from the cops, why do they always go to Mexico? I would think they would have an easier time going to Canada.

-If one of my friends actually got a shirt that says "I'm with stupid" I would punch them in the fucking testicles. I wouldn't punch them in the face because that just hurts them. I would want to hurt their offspring also.

-What exactly does "PWND" mean??

-Why is it only a "Top 8"? Why can't it be a top 10 or even a top 12?

-Do you really think Jesus loves people who say "Jesus loves me"? I don't think I could continue loving someone if they bragged to everyone about how I loved them. No one likes a showboat.


Ok. That's enough for now. I will post me when I think of them. If you have the answer to any of these questions, leave me a comment to let me know.

Update on my 43!

Since I wrote my 43 things last year I havent really accomplished much of the stuff. I just figured I would update everyone on what I was up to and let you know how life has been for me.
So I have accomplished about 6 things on my list.
Over the summer I went to a Taking Back Sunday show with Brian Dylan Callaghan. We totally kicked people's asses in the pit. That is #28 on my list.
I have kinda sorta finished #9. That is reading a book. I don't really read the whole book when I need to read one for class. I probably read about 80%. So I am gonna count it because I want to.
I finished #30 when I finished my list. So that brings my total to 3.
I also learned a magic trick. So #35 is covered. I know how to make a toothpick dissapear because Chris Angel, the MINDFREAK!!!!, showed us how to on his show. So now i am an official magician.
I'm gonna count #37 which is learn to breakdance because I can do the worm. And that is the sweetest breakdance move ever.
And last but not least, #43. I am awesome on a daily basis. That's not really a goal. That was put up so people think about how awesome I can be.
So that is the stuff on my list. Now let me tell you what I am up to in my life.
I am now in my 3rd year here at SUNY Cortland. I don't know if I am a junior or a sophomore so I just say that I am in my 3rd year. I am living in a house with Brian Dylan Callaghan, Anton Ladislav Jordak, and Sean Christopher Hartigan. I am doing a little bit better in school than I have been doing.
I havent really been accomplishing much of my list. And now that I think about it I should get on that. I think I might start running. Depending on if I actually run and train, I might do a marathon. I know the LI marathon is in May. So that gives me almsot 7 months to get running. I doubt I'll actually do it, but who knows. Maybe I'll get my shit together. I'll probably only do half if I actually attempt it. Maybe I'll give P. Diddy a call and ask for some advice. I will totally shave my head into a mohawk if i run it. Maybe I will paint myself black and take a picture and post it on collegehumor.com. That will help me accomplish 2 of my goals.
Anyway, that is what is new with me. Hope you enjoyed reading. I'll see you all at the finish line.