can't sleep
So I can't fall asleep because I slept until noon today and then I took a nap from 5 to 7. I'm not gonna fall asleep anytime soon so I decided to write a blog for my loyal fans.....both of you. So here is some shit that has been on my mind.
-I was watching the movie "Watchmen" last night. And I didn't watch the whole thing for 2 reasons. 1. The comedian died first. That is bullshit. 2. That blue guy was allowed to be naked whenever he was working in his lab. I saw plenty of scenes where he was wearing clothing. Even that banana hammock he was wearing was better than the nakedness. Fuck Dr. Manhattan.
-They need to make a new live action Ninja Turtles movie. With the technology they have today it has the potential to be a sick movie.
-I'm terrible at booty calls. I always call a girl while drunk on a saturday night and I am terrible at it. I'm never able to get them over that night. I think I'm asking the wrong questions. "Hey girl. I just got home from the bar. Whatre you up to....on tuesday? Wanna grab some lunch?" (new joke. Still working on it but that's the basic structure of it....comments?)
-FUCK JAY LENO. HE IS DESTROYING LATE NIGHT TELEVISION. YOUR TIME HAS PASSED. GET OFF TV AND LET CONAN TAKE OVER!!!!! Also, I think Jimmy Fallon does a really good job. Put Jay in Carson Daly's spot. Instead of "Last Call with Carson Daly" they can call it "Quiting Time with Jay Leno"
-I am obsessed with the idea of meeting a girl at a red light and sparks will fly. But it never happens. Everytime I pull up to a redlight and I'm next to a girl I can never get her attention. I smile and give her the nod. I even waive sometimes to try and get her attention but the light is red for like 2 fucking seconds. And when there isn't a girl the light takes half an hour and there is a 7 year old playing PSP who won't stop fucking staring at me from the backseat of his mother's minivan.
-Ray-J is the new Flavor Flav. Flavor Flav 2.0. He has so many STDs that he has built up an immunity to all disease and will live forever.
-Why are older ladies who pick up young men called "Cougars" and older men that pick up young ladies are called "creeps"?
-I don't go to clubs anymore because the age limits are wierd. 18 to party. 21 to drink. 23 to be creepy and old. (another new joke.....comments?)
-The Roots are crazy good (if you couldn't tell already, I'm watching late nite)
-My february 2nd show has been moved for 7pm to 8pm. Just letting you know.
Ok. That's all I have for right now. Goodnight.
-I was watching the movie "Watchmen" last night. And I didn't watch the whole thing for 2 reasons. 1. The comedian died first. That is bullshit. 2. That blue guy was allowed to be naked whenever he was working in his lab. I saw plenty of scenes where he was wearing clothing. Even that banana hammock he was wearing was better than the nakedness. Fuck Dr. Manhattan.
-They need to make a new live action Ninja Turtles movie. With the technology they have today it has the potential to be a sick movie.
-I'm terrible at booty calls. I always call a girl while drunk on a saturday night and I am terrible at it. I'm never able to get them over that night. I think I'm asking the wrong questions. "Hey girl. I just got home from the bar. Whatre you up to....on tuesday? Wanna grab some lunch?" (new joke. Still working on it but that's the basic structure of it....comments?)
-FUCK JAY LENO. HE IS DESTROYING LATE NIGHT TELEVISION. YOUR TIME HAS PASSED. GET OFF TV AND LET CONAN TAKE OVER!!!!! Also, I think Jimmy Fallon does a really good job. Put Jay in Carson Daly's spot. Instead of "Last Call with Carson Daly" they can call it "Quiting Time with Jay Leno"
-I am obsessed with the idea of meeting a girl at a red light and sparks will fly. But it never happens. Everytime I pull up to a redlight and I'm next to a girl I can never get her attention. I smile and give her the nod. I even waive sometimes to try and get her attention but the light is red for like 2 fucking seconds. And when there isn't a girl the light takes half an hour and there is a 7 year old playing PSP who won't stop fucking staring at me from the backseat of his mother's minivan.
-Ray-J is the new Flavor Flav. Flavor Flav 2.0. He has so many STDs that he has built up an immunity to all disease and will live forever.
-Why are older ladies who pick up young men called "Cougars" and older men that pick up young ladies are called "creeps"?
-I don't go to clubs anymore because the age limits are wierd. 18 to party. 21 to drink. 23 to be creepy and old. (another new joke.....comments?)
-The Roots are crazy good (if you couldn't tell already, I'm watching late nite)
-My february 2nd show has been moved for 7pm to 8pm. Just letting you know.
Ok. That's all I have for right now. Goodnight.
posted by LUNCHBOX at 9:06 PM
3 Comments:
u gotta call girls during the week (sober) to set up the booty-call...keep it sleazy
i agree with PC- sat night is too late -the girls already gone home with whatever guy was clever enough to call them on a thursday.
you two only have something to say about my bootycall techniques? I was thinking that was a good joke to use for my next show.
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