Tiger Woods Ya'll

Fuck yea Tiger Woods has 9 mistresses. He probably has more. He is Tiger FUCKING Woods. Dude is a billionaire. Let me repeat that BILLIONAIRE!!!! Why are his mistresses coming out? They are fucking dumb. Get together and fucking blackmail him. I wish he tried to fuck me. I would make bank bro!!
I used to think he was a dick because he didn't wave at me at the US Open, but he didn't look at the crowd because he wasn't sure if it was one of his mistresses yelling to him. I like him so much more now. He is finally a normal professional athlete. I bet that he has numbers that compare to Wilt Chamberlan.
Now I'm gonna leave you with a joke from Conan last night. It is great. "One of Tiger's mistresses is a british sports writer. He calls her the "British Open".