blog competition winner!!!! Sean Flood....
write a story about your fictional experience on the nick show GUTS - i want all details, including how you trained for it, what happened in each event, and what is was like being a major celebrity afterwards. make mike o'malley proud.~ SF
What many of you don't know about me is that I was once on the show GUTS. It really isn't a fictional experience. I just don't tell many people because when people know about it, they always try to have competitions with me. So I am finally going to tell my story. The first person to challenge me to a race up the AGGRO CRAG!!!! is going to get an ass whooping!
I found out I was going to be on the show a little after my 10th birthday. It was the end of football season and wrestling was starting. I was already a stallion so I didn't need to train too heavily. I felt if I did, it wouldn't be a fair competition.
The competitions in which I competed included the Invisible Boat, and the Obstacle course. The invisible boat is were you are suspended by wire with your feet in the water. You get a paddle to help you get across the pool. There are jets with extreme power at either side of the pool that are supposed to interfere with victory. But c'mon. Let's get serious. Those jets stood no chance. I won the event by over 10 seconds. It was pretty amazing. Everyone knows what the Obstacle course is. If you don't know, stop reading. That competition was pretty close until I reached the elastic jungle. That is a "jungle" of elastic bands that is meant to slow you down. That was no match either. I just ran through it. The bands just broke and seemed to run away from my manly 10-year-old frame. I set a record time in that event after that.
The other 2 events were really child's play. They're not even worth talking about. I just beat the crap out of the other 2 opponents.
The last event was, of course, the AGGRO CRAG!! I raced up it in less than 25 seconds. And from the top, I spit on the broken spirits of the two losers who finished 42 seconds later.
This episode was never put on the air. Moira "Mo" Quirk, the official, decided that it could kill the spirits of future contestants if they watched. Me and Mike O'Mally argued with her for about 1/2 an hour until she broke the tape in half. I didn't even get a copy. After that I totally fucked up her face. That is why for most of her career afterwards, she did voice work for cartoons and video games. After I fucked her up, me and Mike had a couple beers and laughed for hours. He said "I know you are only 10, but you are on an ass kicking level of a 25-year-old Chuck Norris." It is probably the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me.
Well that sums up my GUTS experience. It was one for the record books, but there is no official taping of the show to prove it. Fuck you Mo! FUCK YOU!
What many of you don't know about me is that I was once on the show GUTS. It really isn't a fictional experience. I just don't tell many people because when people know about it, they always try to have competitions with me. So I am finally going to tell my story. The first person to challenge me to a race up the AGGRO CRAG!!!! is going to get an ass whooping!
I found out I was going to be on the show a little after my 10th birthday. It was the end of football season and wrestling was starting. I was already a stallion so I didn't need to train too heavily. I felt if I did, it wouldn't be a fair competition.
The competitions in which I competed included the Invisible Boat, and the Obstacle course. The invisible boat is were you are suspended by wire with your feet in the water. You get a paddle to help you get across the pool. There are jets with extreme power at either side of the pool that are supposed to interfere with victory. But c'mon. Let's get serious. Those jets stood no chance. I won the event by over 10 seconds. It was pretty amazing. Everyone knows what the Obstacle course is. If you don't know, stop reading. That competition was pretty close until I reached the elastic jungle. That is a "jungle" of elastic bands that is meant to slow you down. That was no match either. I just ran through it. The bands just broke and seemed to run away from my manly 10-year-old frame. I set a record time in that event after that.
The other 2 events were really child's play. They're not even worth talking about. I just beat the crap out of the other 2 opponents.
The last event was, of course, the AGGRO CRAG!! I raced up it in less than 25 seconds. And from the top, I spit on the broken spirits of the two losers who finished 42 seconds later.
This episode was never put on the air. Moira "Mo" Quirk, the official, decided that it could kill the spirits of future contestants if they watched. Me and Mike O'Mally argued with her for about 1/2 an hour until she broke the tape in half. I didn't even get a copy. After that I totally fucked up her face. That is why for most of her career afterwards, she did voice work for cartoons and video games. After I fucked her up, me and Mike had a couple beers and laughed for hours. He said "I know you are only 10, but you are on an ass kicking level of a 25-year-old Chuck Norris." It is probably the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me.
Well that sums up my GUTS experience. It was one for the record books, but there is no official taping of the show to prove it. Fuck you Mo! FUCK YOU!
posted by LUNCHBOX at 1:50 PM
2 Comments:
hahaha - what a great blog big guy. you exceeded my high expectations, and you even decided not to be lazy and do some research. even i, a fan of GUTS, forgot about moira's career as cartoon characters' voices after the show and the invisible boat event. you made mike o'malley proud - quite an accomplishment.
~ SF
we all know which sganga brother would dominate on guts if all three of us were on the show. (thats right everyone there is a third sganga brother) although running through the elastic jungle is quite impressive. lets face it, dom beat us at everything when we were growing up. he woulda ran away with the competition. but hey high school and college years is a different story. lets not forget i was an all american athlete (i completely just turned this into something much longer than it was supposed to be and now im gonna stop talking and go take a shot of robitussin....cause thats what i do).
-the elder but not eldest sganga
Post a Comment
<< Home