The Pet Rock....
Recently one of my teachers mentioned the Pet Rock during class. This got me to thinking of how stupid, yet brilliant the idea of a Pet Rock was. I looked up the definition of a pet on dictionary.com and i got : An animal kept for amusement or companionship. The Pet Rock was not an animal and no one who is not in a straight jacket can say that a Pet Rock kept them company when they were lonely or amused them when they were bored.
Let me give you some background info I found by googling "Pet Rock" before writing this article(I really have no better way to fill the time). Pet Rocks were a 1975 fad originated in California by salesman, Gary Dahl(A.K.A. The smartest dumb piece of shit ever).Gary Dahl, was a Californian advertising man. While drinking with his buddies one night in April 1975 the conversation turned to pets. As a joke, this Ass-Clown informed his friends that he considered dogs, cats, birds, and fish all a pain in the neck. They made a mess; they misbehaved; they cost too much money. He, on the other hand, had a pet rock, and it was an ideal pet - easy and cheap, and it had a great personality. His buddies started to joke around with the "off-the-wall idea" and pretty soon they were al tossing around the notion of a pet rock and all the things it was good for.
This piece of shit spent the next 2 weeks writing the "Pet Rock Training Manual." To accompany the book, Dahl decided to actually create a Pet Rock. He went to a builder's supply store in San Jose and found the most expensive rock in the place - a Rosarita Beach Stone, which was a uniform size, rounded gray pebble that sold for a penny. He packed the stone in excelsior in a gift box shaped like a pet carrying case, accompanied by the instruction book.
The Pet Rock was introduced at the August gift show in San Francisco, then in New York. Neiman-Marcus ordered five hundred. Gary Dahl sent out homemade news releases. Newsweek did a half-page story about the piece of shit, and by the end of October Gary Dahl was shipping ten thousand Pet Rocks every Day. He appeared on "The Tonight Show," twice. By Christmas when, two and a half tons of rocks had been sold, three-fourths of all the daily newspapers in America had run Pet Rock stories, often including Gary Dahl's tongue-in-cheek revelations about how each rock was individually tested for obedience at Rosarita Beach in Baja, Mexico, before being selected and boxed. A million rocks sold for $3.95 apiece in just a few months, and Gary Dahl - who decided from the beginning to make at least one dollar from every rock - had become an instant millionaire.
Now that you know the history of the pet rock, you understand why I am so pist off. This guy made more money in a couple months than most people make in 10 years. And worst of all, I think he is brilliant. I wish I could be so drunk and stupid that I would think the Pet Rock would make me money. I think I may sell a pet leaf during next christmas, maybe even pet grass. I would love to sell that shit and make money off of some stupid motherfuckers. Fuck the animal idea. Inanimate objects make so much more sense. Who doesn't want a pet that doesn't do anything. You don't have to clean it or feed it....ooooo wait, you can't have fun with it either. So it wouldn't make a good pet. It is a piece of shit rock that can be found at Rosarita Beach. So instead of buying a fucking rock, go on vacation to Rosarita Beach and dig one up. Fuck Gary Dahl.
So if you are looking at a picture of a pet rock, you are having as good a time as you will possibly have with it.
Aren't you having a great time starring at somebody's pet???
Let me give you some background info I found by googling "Pet Rock" before writing this article(I really have no better way to fill the time). Pet Rocks were a 1975 fad originated in California by salesman, Gary Dahl(A.K.A. The smartest dumb piece of shit ever).Gary Dahl, was a Californian advertising man. While drinking with his buddies one night in April 1975 the conversation turned to pets. As a joke, this Ass-Clown informed his friends that he considered dogs, cats, birds, and fish all a pain in the neck. They made a mess; they misbehaved; they cost too much money. He, on the other hand, had a pet rock, and it was an ideal pet - easy and cheap, and it had a great personality. His buddies started to joke around with the "off-the-wall idea" and pretty soon they were al tossing around the notion of a pet rock and all the things it was good for.
This piece of shit spent the next 2 weeks writing the "Pet Rock Training Manual." To accompany the book, Dahl decided to actually create a Pet Rock. He went to a builder's supply store in San Jose and found the most expensive rock in the place - a Rosarita Beach Stone, which was a uniform size, rounded gray pebble that sold for a penny. He packed the stone in excelsior in a gift box shaped like a pet carrying case, accompanied by the instruction book.
The Pet Rock was introduced at the August gift show in San Francisco, then in New York. Neiman-Marcus ordered five hundred. Gary Dahl sent out homemade news releases. Newsweek did a half-page story about the piece of shit, and by the end of October Gary Dahl was shipping ten thousand Pet Rocks every Day. He appeared on "The Tonight Show," twice. By Christmas when, two and a half tons of rocks had been sold, three-fourths of all the daily newspapers in America had run Pet Rock stories, often including Gary Dahl's tongue-in-cheek revelations about how each rock was individually tested for obedience at Rosarita Beach in Baja, Mexico, before being selected and boxed. A million rocks sold for $3.95 apiece in just a few months, and Gary Dahl - who decided from the beginning to make at least one dollar from every rock - had become an instant millionaire.
Now that you know the history of the pet rock, you understand why I am so pist off. This guy made more money in a couple months than most people make in 10 years. And worst of all, I think he is brilliant. I wish I could be so drunk and stupid that I would think the Pet Rock would make me money. I think I may sell a pet leaf during next christmas, maybe even pet grass. I would love to sell that shit and make money off of some stupid motherfuckers. Fuck the animal idea. Inanimate objects make so much more sense. Who doesn't want a pet that doesn't do anything. You don't have to clean it or feed it....ooooo wait, you can't have fun with it either. So it wouldn't make a good pet. It is a piece of shit rock that can be found at Rosarita Beach. So instead of buying a fucking rock, go on vacation to Rosarita Beach and dig one up. Fuck Gary Dahl.
So if you are looking at a picture of a pet rock, you are having as good a time as you will possibly have with it.
Aren't you having a great time starring at somebody's pet???
posted by LUNCHBOX at 4:41 PM
1 Comments:
bro........u gotta come up wit some better shit than that.....i sit on my ass all day waiting for u brian or danny to update their blogs and all i get is pet rock??
come on man im counting on u.
urs truly,
broski
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