Rocky! Rocky! Rocky!

Last night I had the oppurtunity to see ROCKY BALBOA on the big screen. I suggest that you do the same thing. If you don't, you are missing out.
The newest installment of Rocky was, to me, absolutely fuckin amazing. I am still pumped up. I'm gonna go workout after this blog just so I feel like Rocky. The movie started out a little slow, but it picks up and becomes as good as any of the previous Rocky movies.
I feel that this movie should win an Oscar on principle alone. Fuck you Departed. Fuck you Blood Diamond. Fuck you Leonardo Dicaprio. This is Rocky's last stand and nothing is going to be better than this movie. I mean, how many movies have you gone to where the audience in the movie theatre is cheering for a fight like they are sitting ringside. How many times has a chant started to cheer on the hero of the story. I was sitting on the edge of my seat for the entire 2nd half of the movie. It was really uncomfortable, but I couldn't help it.
I would have written more about this movie, but I don't want to ruin it for those of you who haven't seen it yet. I highly recommend going to see this movie. Out of 4 stars, I give it 948385324983247908327057o0384750917350982350923 stars.

On a side note, last night after the movie in the parking lot was pretty hilarious. Dan Jolly now drives a Chrysler 300. He is a balla. When we find his car in the parking lot, he presses unlock at the same time as some couple with the same car. They thought they had unlocked it and get into the car like it is their's. Dan keeps his cool and says "You are in my car." The people get out and the guy is like "I got the same car. Same rims and everything." So after the couple leaves, we look to see where their car is parked. They walk to an entire different section of the parking lot. It wasn't a couple of rows over or something, A WHOLE DIFFERENT SECTION. Fuckin idiots. But it was really fuckin funny.

blog competition winner!!!! Sean Flood....

write a story about your fictional experience on the nick show GUTS - i want all details, including how you trained for it, what happened in each event, and what is was like being a major celebrity afterwards. make mike o'malley proud.~ SF

What many of you don't know about me is that I was once on the show GUTS. It really isn't a fictional experience. I just don't tell many people because when people know about it, they always try to have competitions with me. So I am finally going to tell my story. The first person to challenge me to a race up the AGGRO CRAG!!!! is going to get an ass whooping!

I found out I was going to be on the show a little after my 10th birthday. It was the end of football season and wrestling was starting. I was already a stallion so I didn't need to train too heavily. I felt if I did, it wouldn't be a fair competition.
The competitions in which I competed included the Invisible Boat, and the Obstacle course. The invisible boat is were you are suspended by wire with your feet in the water. You get a paddle to help you get across the pool. There are jets with extreme power at either side of the pool that are supposed to interfere with victory. But c'mon. Let's get serious. Those jets stood no chance. I won the event by over 10 seconds. It was pretty amazing. Everyone knows what the Obstacle course is. If you don't know, stop reading. That competition was pretty close until I reached the elastic jungle. That is a "jungle" of elastic bands that is meant to slow you down. That was no match either. I just ran through it. The bands just broke and seemed to run away from my manly 10-year-old frame. I set a record time in that event after that.
The other 2 events were really child's play. They're not even worth talking about. I just beat the crap out of the other 2 opponents.
The last event was, of course, the AGGRO CRAG!! I raced up it in less than 25 seconds. And from the top, I spit on the broken spirits of the two losers who finished 42 seconds later.

This episode was never put on the air. Moira "Mo" Quirk, the official, decided that it could kill the spirits of future contestants if they watched. Me and Mike O'Mally argued with her for about 1/2 an hour until she broke the tape in half. I didn't even get a copy. After that I totally fucked up her face. That is why for most of her career afterwards, she did voice work for cartoons and video games. After I fucked her up, me and Mike had a couple beers and laughed for hours. He said "I know you are only 10, but you are on an ass kicking level of a 25-year-old Chuck Norris." It is probably the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me.
Well that sums up my GUTS experience. It was one for the record books, but there is no official taping of the show to prove it. Fuck you Mo! FUCK YOU!

My first Blog competition.

I know I haven't written a lot of blogs lately, and I am sorry to my loyal fans. All 2 of you. You know who you are. But not a lot of funny stuff is going on lately. I need to get really creative. So this blog is inviting you to post a message and let me know what you want to see me rant about. Anything goes. But don't ask me to write about how "awesome" you are. If you do that I am just gonna make fun of you. So have some fun with this. Make up something funny. Nobody wants to talk politics here or something like that. So don't suck and let me know what is funny to you and I will try to make it funnier. If I get a lot of comments I am gonna make this into a competition. So don't you wanna win. I think you do.